Facebook the Larp

So today I am unveiling a new interactive multimedia LARP,

Yes that’s right we are beginning to play test the Facenovel Larp (cause i’m not going near facebooks lawyers, they make GWs look positively huggable).

That’s right an online multimedia experience that means you will never have to get muddy again, but you can still complain about it.

In this free to play game (with free text down time for a small fee. Yes you have to pay, just saying ‘It would be cool for the game and its for my immersion’ does not make it ok you meta gaming snowflake) is based around the ‘Nations larp’ a fictional game that happens in down time, each event you will get a summary of what happened to your character it ‘Nations larp’ to add to your immersion for the Facenovel game itself.

In this game you are sent a brief about what happened to you at the ‘Nations Larp’ and it is up to you to manoeuvre in a dog eat dog pvp internet arena. You are free to sort out politics before the next game, complain about everything and accuse people of being massive evil cunts in an attempt to be the most popular person in the fictional world of Facenovel without losing your humanity or invoking Godwins law.

Now obviously everyone likes rules so we have a lot of them, including a skill list that will in fact make your average d & d second edition fap with excitement at the options in our kit books.

Example Skills:

Allows you to remove one post, however for every ‘event’ you are a mod your humanity slowly drains away. Gain plus one humanity of you don’t post for an event, go outside and do something positive in the world.

Once an event get away with posting anything, no matter how vile and no one can use a skill on you as you say in a really hurt voice ‘I was joking, get a sense of humour’ lose one humanity each event unless you go and see someone in the real world and weep openly about what everything made you do the vile things you do. (obviously this skill can also be used fo any form of personal attack including accusations of cheating, sleeping with refs or any ism you wish to use. The important thing is that this skill isn’t like the lying skill at all as you actually know what you are doing is wrong at some level and that hurts you more than anything else).

Lying about someone to fill that hole in your soul, cause the internet deadens shit like empathy:

This skill can be used once an event to lie about another player and everyone has to take this as gospel. The trick with this is that it must be a ridiculous lie. For example ‘Jack stabbed me in the eye with his spear and it wasn’t even stab safe’ if Jack wasn’t at the event is acceptable, ‘Jack didn’t pull his blows by accident’ when Jack was there isn’t. You don’t lose humanity, because let’s face it you don’t actually have a soul and you need to die. But let’s pretend, you need to lose humanity each event but you gain ‘drinking the tears of others’ points each time someone believes your post, these can be exchanged for 10 tears for one humanity as your fragile ego is fed by the pain of others.

X is a cheat:

You can accuse a player of cheating once an event (unless you are part of the ref faction, cause who cares what you think, this is trail by internet mob’. This allows other players to talk about them behind their back without ever saying anything to their face. You lose one humanity every event, but gain humanity if you can get someone who made an honest mistake vilified publicly, bonus points if they give up on the hobby altogether.

Example factions:


The Ref faction are a long suffering faction which includes, plot writers and other people who actually are involved in the creation and running of the game in down time.

The faction ability is to give one humanity to a non ref member.

Their weakness is that after two years of play they hate themselves so much that they must quit the ref faction and join the bitter vet faction as they watch all their hard work torn apart by people as they use Facenovel to push their agendas using the creative child of the Ref in question.

Bitter vet:

Not actually bitter, but use the name to hide the pain of larping for so long and also to make sure no one knows they are just as big a nerd as everyone else.

The faction ability is to ignore any skill used on them by posting something slightly patronising with a smiley face as long as they cry themselves to sleep at night over the pain caused. E.g. In response to someone saying his kit was off brief John replies ‘It’s not off brief, i’m mearly wearing clothes that are more realistic, i’m more into the roleplay now and wearing the correct period clothes helps with my immersion’ John must now go to bed crying because he thought it was the best kit he ever made, but he can’t let them know, never let them know….

New wide eyed player:

New player, actually enjoying themselves, oblivious to the horror around them.

The faction ability is to emulate the faction ability of any other faction at the cost of gaining a ‘proper larper token’

Weakness, once they gain 10 proper larper tokens, they must join the faction they have been emulating the most. In case of a tie, they must join the ‘Cool kids’ faction, but only as an apprentice who the cool kids can take the piss out of until a new apprentice joins. The only way to lose ‘proper larper tokens’ is to post positive things about your experiences.

Well rounded decent person

What the fuck are you doing here?

Ability, none, your opinions don’t count because you haven’t filled heart with hate.

Weakness, basically you’re going to give up on humanity. You cared once, you remember, you even enjoyed the game, but now watching all this unfold in front of you have decided that there is no hope, while in other countries things like water are a luxury that might kill you, here you watch people internet knife fight over the colour of robes. You’re probably going to kill someone, and keep going until the world is cleansed, your soul destroyed by the toxin and bile beamed via wifi into your now twisted and broken soul…..(Roleplay hint, think about every investigator character in call of Cuthulu ever)

So those are some of the factions, but there are loads more including ‘pro keyboard warriors like a baws’, ‘I’m not sexist/racist/homophobic but….’ and ‘Bully using a real social issue to attack people, there by diluting the issue and making people hate it, damaging the issue in question to the point where people start to agree with the I’m not a… faction and UKIP’ (Yes I get that this now makes me the worst person to put anything on the internet ever, that’s a skill too btw, but you have to pay a small premium for it.). We will also be play testing ‘Well adjusted Larper who enjoys their hobby’, but they don’t post on Facenovel, so I don’t think they will be popular.

I’m sure you are as excited as me. Now some of the ‘plot leavers’ that our plot team are busy working on right now are:

  • Mud, all the bloody mud. Can’t we just play at that site in East Grinstead where there is no mud.
  • Long food van queues.
  • Not enough plot, even though I sat on my arse drinking all weekend.
  • Not on brief.
  • People saying you’re not on brief.
  • Having to read the fucking brief.
  • An unpaid volunteer didn’t do what i wanted even though they haven’t slept for 24 hours, because they were trying to make sure I had a good time, but fuck em, they aren’t people, they are crew.
  • Watching a clique get everything and you get shoved to one side.
  • Not getting your own way and now you’re mad about it (roleplay effect often caused by lack of plot plotlines or ‘I expected to get stuff without doing anything’ plots.).
  • It is/isn’t a family event.
  • Someone swore.

I certainly am very excited about this project and from the initial grass roots games that are already running, I’m damned sure that I can make some real money, I mean create a flagship experience that everyone will take part in, even if they hate it and themselves after.

Next time Green Cloaks and Empire E1 and how both were really good fun in a field doing the hobby.

Always punch up….


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One Response to Facebook the Larp

  1. Aulder says:

    Wow, that sounds amazing! No need to actually look at other people’s faces or interact with them in any way other than via the anonymity of the internet: Sign me up…

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